Finding Yourself is a Lost Cause

“You don’t necessarily find yourself, you create yourself one little step at a time.” – Tim Ferriss

Read that again.

Finding yourself is creating yourself by making. Shit. Happen. I often get confused when people take these spiritual/wellness retreats or seminars to help you “find yourself,” or “discover your purpose.” You do yoga, meditate, yell affirmations, and give high-fives. I see the value in all of these activities. All of it is important, however, you won’t be able to think your way to finding yourself. Unless you’re a Buddhist Monk, meditating in hopes you’ll figure yourself out won’t work either. Although, these activities may invoke inspiration, they won’t invoke action. YOU invoke action.

By action, I mean doing the work. This is the process of finding yourself. Put your work out there in the world. Write a book. Bartend. Play the mandolin. Take a course in web design. Start side projects and hobbies. It might take some trial and error but you’ll eventually figure out what you are meant to do/be. You’ll gradually create your way to the person you want to become.

Steps to Create Yourself

Please see this extravagant, highly scientific flow chart and follow the steps.

finding yourself roadmap

You’ll find yourself out as you take part in life. There is something that happens during this process that you must recognize. It’s the experience in itself; be present to it. It is where you gain knowledge, establish skills, and develop relationships. This is your creation process. An important thing many fail to realize is the knowledge and experience you gain along the way. For example, you may think you’re meant to design beautiful websites, later to figure out that you hate web designing. At this point, it is time to move on, but note the invaluable experience you gained during the process. Retain what you learned and build on it as you take part in your next experiment. As a previous manager would always say, “There’s training in every situation.” I hated it when he said it, but there’s truth to it.

“Nobody is born with a style or a voice. We don’t come out of the womb knowing who we are.” – Austin Kleon

You won’t know until you do the work. It’s scary. Starting this blog wasn’t easy. I had to throw myself out there. . . I am throwing myself out there. Everything isn’t figured out yet, but I’m in the game, helping others. It’s been difficult, fun, and gratifying and I’ve begun to create myself along the way.

I’ve always wanted to help others. I’d read books, blogs, and listen to podcasts, but that only took me so far. The amount of information in the world is endless and as a result, I entered the unproductive point of analysis paralysis. I realized I had to take it to another level if I truly wanted to help people. It was a vision of mine but until I took action, I didn’t know if it was something I wanted to do.

I stopped reading about how to help people, and started helping people! I stopped thinking about blogging, and finally started blogging. Fortunately, it’s fulfilling and most importantly, helpful.

All you have to do is stop searching, and start doing, you’ll eventually find what you’re looking for.


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