Knowing how to compliment women is an art, not a science. We men are wired differently and think a logical compliment will suffice to get a woman’s endorphins flowing.
There’s a reason why 50 Shades of Grey got every woman’s attention. Women are descriptive and imaginative. You have to match these qualities when attempting to lay on your charm. A vanilla compliment will only connect you to the rejection hotline.
There are a set of rules to follow when you are complimenting women. Use these rules and make that woman’s eyebrows raise when you showcase your smooth talk.
Rule #1: Sincerity
This is the golden rule. If you can’t be sincere then don’t even bother.
“Don’t compliment someone for any other reason than you truly feel. We know when a compliment is a fake.”
We think we’re cunning and sly, but women are good at sniffing out sleazes from a mile away. They’ve most likely heard every pick-up line, approach, and textbook compliment in existence.
If you find yourself thinking about how to compliment a woman for the sake of receiving attention—or complimenting her to spark a conversation then you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Wanting to talk to a beautiful woman just because she’s beautiful is not a good enough reason—you have other issues then. If you find yourself in these situations then move on. You’ll find a woman that you’ll genuinely be attracted to. A woman that you’d truly like to get to know.
Rule #2: It’s important how you say it
I’ve mentioned this in several other posts. What you say is important, but how you say it is also crucial.
When you are complimenting a woman, say it with conviction. Be confident, maintain eye contact, speak slowly, smoothly, and don’t forget to smile. Your tone and body language must accompany your compliment.
This experience can cause anxiety but know that it’s ok to be nervous. Women like confidence but they also like men who are being themselves (vulnerable). They’ll respond positively to this. It shows that you have the balls to approach her in lieu of your anxiety. It’s worth noting that being nervous is a sign that you’re genuinely interested in her.
As un-manly as it sounds, vulnerability is a quality women appreciate. It shows that you’re a real person.
Rule #3: Expand your vocabulary
Be creative with your nomenclature. Pretty and beautiful are overused and boring. Expand your choice of words by using a fun adjective. Here are some examples:
Rule #3: Specificity
Details, details, details.
“You are beautiful” is not detailed.
“You have pretty eyes” is not detailed.
Remove these statements from your language. You’re more than likely to get rejected with these statements. In fact, it is likely she’s heard it five times today, and 237,944 other times this week. If you can be different and descriptive then you’ve caught her attention.
When you tell a woman she’s beautiful, has pretty eyes, or any other generic compliment then chances are you are going to get brushed off. In the end, it’s YOU. If you are going to be like every guy complimenting her the same way then you are going to get treated the same way. “Next!” is how she’ll react.
Explain why a woman is beautiful, pretty, etc. Open your eyes and observe.
Is it something she’s wearing?
“I like the color of your lipstick. It accentuates your vibrant smile.”
Is it the way she laughs?
“I love your laugh. It gives off such positive energy!”
Is it her personality?
“You seem to be very confident in who you are.”
“I like your spontaneity. It tells me that you live life to the fullest.”
She’s got a lot to offer and if you can observe and respond to that then you’ve done a fine job.
“The best compliment I’ve ever received was, ‘You are so wonderful with children, they just love you. It’s so fun to see you interact with little kids, as you light up like a Christmas tree.'”
“A friend of mine hit it home for me. He commented on a photo I posted, ‘This photo is stunning—it’s your Disney Princess Eyes.’ Being told I have Disney Princess eyes was more specific. My eyes are big, innocent and sparkly. That seems more genuine than ‘pretty.'”
The men that complimented this woman killed it. They led with the compliment, and used a playful metaphor to elaborate.
Warning: Be careful of using “today” in your statement when complimenting a woman’s looks. Women typically put an effort to look good on a daily basis. If you say, “Your hair looks good today” then she might say or think, “Today!? What about every other day?!” Something like, “Your hair looks extra vibrant today” would be better off. Acknowledging that she puts in an effort on a daily basis then adding your own flair to it will remove her objection.
1. Be sincere
2. Place importance on how you give your compliment: tone, body language, and confidence
3. Expand your vocabulary
4. Be specific
Women all react differently to compliments and if you expect something in return there is more chance of disappointment than something in return. Say what you gotta say and accept the response you receive.
Back to you
Gentlemen, share your thoughts on what’s worked for you.
Ladies, share the best compliments you’ve received, tips for men, or anything else you’d like to say.
Shoutout to Soon2BeCatLady for helping out on this blog post.